the next best thing

Today’s thought is related to standards and aspirations. The idea started from a woman that cannot leave her cheating and swearing husband, for the simple reason that her parents planted deep into her mind the idea of conformity. If one accepts the failure of a marriage, it means he or she has failed socially. People like those spend their time patching and fixing what is unfixable and full of holes. Then they go out and tell eveyone how well the other reacted. Afterwards, things go back to “normal”: verbal violence and sleeping around.

Someone else desperately search for a pair, no matter who that person is, just to get in line with the rest of the social mass. A friend suggested that you don’t have to buy the whole pig for a piece of steak :), you don’t need people’s generic approval.  Just to have a name wrapped around your finger, preparing yourself for a lifetime of compromise.

Mirror image: a man falls in love, madly with a woman that comes from a completely different background. She has the first child, then routine comes into play and sex is not interesting anymore,  no one cares what the other wants… he finds a lover that can offer everything the fed up wife can’t. 

And then… it is Monday morning, it is cold, he runs  trough the busy square of the business part of the city. He is in his twenties, graduated a good college, works in a company that pays him well, but not well enough for the 12 hours spxcess hormones by giving him stupid and repetitive tasks, just to see him more often.  Colleagues perceive him as a danger, he wears the  high potential tag. The good suit gets wet. It is the only one, the other one is at the dry cleaners’… there is only enough money for a beigel. Maybe two.

What are we doing here, folks??? Why do we choose good enough instead of good? Where did this go wrong?

The answer is about havind the power of daydreaming, of having a vision that can draw the line of our life. Get past the immediate targets, which are typically related to the lukewarm compromise of today. Break the barrier instead of walking along it.

Get out of that place of comfort, dare, understand, feel the taste  of the next best thing, infinitely better than you can imagine, prepared and standing by, in the Universe, for the moment you are ready to receive it. Disney said: “if you can dream it, you can do it”.  Stop asking for permission. stă în binişor va rămâne acolo, fără să poată îndrăzni, înţelege şi savura următorul lucru, mult mai bun, pe care Universul ţi-l pregăteşte atunci când eşti gata să îl primeşti: nimic nu e imposibil, spunea Disney, dacă poţi să visezi la ceva, poţi să şi realizezi acel ceva. Nu mai cereţi permisiune….  Stop asking a higher instance to intervene. As long as we swim in the muddy puddle of good enough, we will not get what we really deserve: our perfect reflection, materialized in the perfect partner, true friends, best job or employer, creation, fulfillment.

Take your daily quota of daydreaming, compare it with what you are getting and decide where is the point of saying no to compromise. This is the first step in freeing yourself from good enough. Storms may follow, but you might end up in bright sun on your favorite beach… only if you try.