Author Archives: pisicka

Relationship Karma

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Enough is enough. All people I meet tell me the same thing. They are captive in a pattern. It might be the “wrong partner” pattern, or the loneliness pattern, or the one-way love pattern. .

No matter what the pattern is, there is a reason.

It is based on the theory of reincarnation, so if you do not believe in it, just click  on the right side of this tab and close the blog now.

But if you do think that the soul can transmigrate from a realm to another one, from a body to another body,  over space and time, then you might find a satisfactory explanation for the unsatisfactory aspects of your private life .

The first point we need to take into account is that we all are exploring a relationship facet in each lifetime. Most often, the people you interact with were your parents, children, masters, protectors in previous lives. The woman you fell for might have been your son last time. 😀

This changes  profoundly the way we see this relationship, doesn’t it?

We came with a love capital we had forgotten, entered this life marching with our military boots over the hearts of the ones  we kept meeting, then we end up wondering why we are not loved. Most often, the relationship we enter is a perfect mirror of what we offered in previous encounters.

Did we abandon them last time? We might expect to be abandoned. Did we betray them? Expect betrayal.

Another important point is that these episodes tend to occur in cycles. Men choosing the same type of woman, just another face, in successive relationships. Women, captive in a repetitive male model – usually not the ideal one. Here we need to understand that each of these people coming to our lives is a lesson, an opportunity to improve ourselves. If we do not get the lesson and we do not act upon it, we receive it once again. And again. And again.  Until we pass the exam.

How can one understand a lesson? It is simple. Look, objectively, at what happened. Objectively is not “it’s the other’s fault” or “I did nothing wrong”. To be objective is to look at the nature of the issue,. What part of your behavior facilitates the manifestation of the issue. Then, roll up your sleeves and start working on that behavior. Take the file, nicely smooth all bumps and fill all holes with love – to make it short, you grow. I can offer many examples of people working with me to go through this process. Typically, one year later they come and say “my life has changed”. So there is room for hope 😀

Conventionally speaking, we must be lucid when falling in love or entering a social relationship with someone. Before letting your self dive into it, just ask yourself: is this someone who appreciates me? Who makes me feel special, different, wonderful? Who makes me feel at ease? Is it a person I can learn from? If the answer is yes, take a seat in the desk and get your lessons. If not, stop complaining about repeating patterns.

Remember: these people are our mirrors… that is why the most important lesson is:

Remember to emit, 24/7, those feelings, sensations and thoughts we want to feel from  the ones around us.

The high “frequency” of emotions and mind will sift automatically your professional, social and intimate partners that are not suitable to our own harmony. This is the most important lesson. We are what we think.

the next best thing

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Today’s thought is related to standards and aspirations. The idea started from a woman that cannot leave her cheating and swearing husband, for the simple reason that her parents planted deep into her mind the idea of conformity. If one accepts the failure of a marriage, it means he or she has failed socially. People like those spend their time patching and fixing what is unfixable and full of holes. Then they go out and tell eveyone how well the other reacted. Afterwards, things go back to “normal”: verbal violence and sleeping around.

Someone else desperately search for a pair, no matter who that person is, just to get in line with the rest of the social mass. A friend suggested that you don’t have to buy the whole pig for a piece of steak :), you don’t need people’s generic approval.  Just to have a name wrapped around your finger, preparing yourself for a lifetime of compromise.

Mirror image: a man falls in love, madly with a woman that comes from a completely different background. She has the first child, then routine comes into play and sex is not interesting anymore,  no one cares what the other wants… he finds a lover that can offer everything the fed up wife can’t. 

And then… it is Monday morning, it is cold, he runs  trough the busy square of the business part of the city. He is in his twenties, graduated a good college, works in a company that pays him well, but not well enough for the 12 hours spxcess hormones by giving him stupid and repetitive tasks, just to see him more often.  Colleagues perceive him as a danger, he wears the  high potential tag. The good suit gets wet. It is the only one, the other one is at the dry cleaners’… there is only enough money for a beigel. Maybe two.

What are we doing here, folks??? Why do we choose good enough instead of good? Where did this go wrong?

The answer is about havind the power of daydreaming, of having a vision that can draw the line of our life. Get past the immediate targets, which are typically related to the lukewarm compromise of today. Break the barrier instead of walking along it.

Get out of that place of comfort, dare, understand, feel the taste  of the next best thing, infinitely better than you can imagine, prepared and standing by, in the Universe, for the moment you are ready to receive it. Disney said: “if you can dream it, you can do it”.  Stop asking for permission. stă în binişor va rămâne acolo, fără să poată îndrăzni, înţelege şi savura următorul lucru, mult mai bun, pe care Universul ţi-l pregăteşte atunci când eşti gata să îl primeşti: nimic nu e imposibil, spunea Disney, dacă poţi să visezi la ceva, poţi să şi realizezi acel ceva. Nu mai cereţi permisiune….  Stop asking a higher instance to intervene. As long as we swim in the muddy puddle of good enough, we will not get what we really deserve: our perfect reflection, materialized in the perfect partner, true friends, best job or employer, creation, fulfillment.

Take your daily quota of daydreaming, compare it with what you are getting and decide where is the point of saying no to compromise. This is the first step in freeing yourself from good enough. Storms may follow, but you might end up in bright sun on your favorite beach… only if you try.

miracles do happen

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We witness every day sudden twists of situations, leading to an exceptional result, with tremendous speed. This is what we typically call a miracle. But there are so many unseen higher aspects of reality that get caught on camera every now and then… or recorded by audio devices. Evidence of the fact that reality is not ending at the limit of our senses – at least not the average human senses.

Most of the pictures are taken when feeling a high vibration around… here are some of them. More to follow.

large light orb at the entrance of the Temple of Foreordained the orbs start multiplying as the group sets intention after work: density of light orbs Light, More Light work well done

I only saw these once when working with an indian Chief and Medicine Man

I only saw these once when working with an indian Chief and Medicine Man

free will prisoners

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fiecare dintre noi, minunat.

Another marathon week brought, in most of the healing sessions, a common subject worth a little bit of reflection: self limitation.

As if it was not enough we are infested with stupid programming, like a fox ful of fleas, e.g. a woman that is not married, with a home and children, is not accomplished, or as a man, if I fall in love, I am a sucker, we come on top of these with our own programs, to make sure we are safely locked in the well made taming cage.

People spend inexplicably long hours building a  kind of a personal tunnel – they get inside it and run in a straight closed line, thinking about their mistakes and failures. That keeps them in the prison of their old patterns, making  the change almost impossible.

curiozitatea nu a omorât pe nimeni, nici măcar pisicaThere are more and more discussions on  Karma.  People are looking for karmic or ancestral reasons to everything. This is not wrong, Karma is a program as well. Any software specialist can tell you that there is an override for every program spinning in a cycle. One can choose to continue the cycles or get out of the program: this is a personal initiative matter.

And then, the Big Black Cloud, that looks like OMG, what will I do if I change this worthless job? What if the next will be worse? and that person chooses to stay with the worthless job, that makes him sick every Monday morning, and in the long run produces gall bladder stones, gastritis or ulcer.

I am watching, puzzled, how we design our own mental prisons. Dear old mind. How it tries to protect us from subsequent failure…. and it takes out of its library old records, starts the emotions to make sure it is doing the right thing, and you end up running like hell, neither from opportunities, nor from danger, but from yourself. You set a lot of personal barriers, such as “I need to pray every morning” or “if I don’t go to the gym I am a fat lazy good for nothing woman” and you create even more opportunities for self-sententing, again and again. You get into the trap of the form and forget about the core fo the issue.

cutia ca loc de joacăAnd the most amazing and dismaying thing of all we do is that we close into that small box our most wonderful, superior expression, of creator beings, to stumble in the ropes we used to tie ourselves. It is like tying the front legs of a horse with a rope as wide as the distance between their legs: the horse will only be able to make baby steps, and will never get too far.

The only animal that feels good in a box is the cat, because it plays in it. For a while. After that, it stretches on the coolest side of the floor, of it is warm, or on the heater, if it feels cold. Maybe it would help to have a cat in each home, because there is a lot to learn from these fascinating creatures.

But what I really mean is that it is time to regain the freedom of being, dreaming, doing what we like. Now is the Time. What will you do today differently, to make your heart feel the joy? Not what needs to be done, but what You want.

mindfulness: the essence of positive reprogramming

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One week ago, after a busy week of courses and therapies, with Sunday looking like the first really free day, the phone rings at 4 a.m. Usually, it is either someone from Asia forgetting about the time zone or some kind of an emergency. Private number, says the screen of the phone.  The ringing stops before I could answer it. Someone who had one too many, I tell myself, go downstairs, get a glass of cold tea and return to bed. The sleep is shattered, though. I decide to try and snooze some more, and when I am about to drift away, the phone rings again. With a visible number, now, and no, it is not Asia. It is the mother of an ex classmate of my son, desperate that her 20 year-old child did not report on the come back time and he was still not home. According to criteria all over the world, these “children” are adults.

Instead of dismissing on the spot the agitated and worried intention of the call, I feel this woman’s mood creeping onto me, like a contaminating wave of gray drizzle. Is everything all right? The boys are out to town, clubbing. The heart starts racing. This is too much. I take the phone and for the first time in months I am playing on the colored screen. Everything is calm. The method works, and after winning 3 top scores, I plunge back into dreams.  And through the dream I can hear the door at 5 am. The clubber is back :D.

I woke up touched by this woman’s agitation and her self-induced pain. At the toothbrush time  I had decided to talk to her, not because she had ruined my only quiet night of the week, but because she needed help. Her obsession on this youngster, a bright and handsome guy, touches his soul like plague. He needs to experiment and get to know the world. And then I thought what I would do with her in therapy. Any psychologist would try and reveal the rusty mechanisms and wheels in her mind in order to determine a return to the normal logic in the mother-son relationship. Then something else came to my mind. 

Mindfulness  is the English word, and fortunately English translates better than other languages what is called Sati in Pali,  smṛti in Sanskrit. It is found from the Upanishads on, being one of the fundamentals of the Hindu scriptures and Buddhist teaching.

Attention, concentrated on reality but especially on the present moment, becomes a real power when combined with a clear understanding what is going on. Presence is a word that seems really adequate, because it combines the focused attention on now with the potential connection to a superior energy layer that we call Divine, Self and so forth. 

Buddha preached about touching presence by continuous practice of calm awareness of the body, feelings, mind and moods. Constant practice leads to wisdom. Far from transforming one into a victim of circumstances, the presence should be combined with discernment .

And all people I had met during the week came to my mind. A large number were under the shadow of agitation. Something bad happened at work, my girlfriend left me, my lover is jobless, I do not know what is happening to me – although wonderful, I am scared… and so on… and so forth…

Thinking back of all these people, their common problem is that they ran away to yesterday and tomorrow, into regret, sadness and fear. Regaining the presence and coming back here, now. There is no yesterday, no tomorrow, just now. Allow yourself to have this moment of personal silence before getting sucked back into the whirlpool of fear and suffering. Then compare the two feelings and decide if it is worth starting to train the mind.

And if the answer is yes, start today, with ten minutes of mindfulness. Watch your mind. If it drifts to yesterday, bring it to now. If it runs into tomorrow, bring it back, into now. Ten minutes later, compare how you feel> is it different from the moment you started the daily training.

One can get a nice biceps in the gym, in two months. But when you train the mind, you may feel the effect from the first moment, and what is wonderful is that this muscle never aches from overload :).

love, beyond cliches

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We see daily on those electronic communication media tens of quotes about love. They make you wonder how much the dilligent writers are practicing out of the overwhleming amount of displayed wisdom .

Don’t describe it. Do it, at all levels.

Last month’s agitated days and nights are flowing like a kind of preview to the grand unveiling of the mind. Each of them, a good time to learn and re-learn all facets of this tarnished noun, that looks dusty, sugary and teary but still so new, each time you discover another aspect of it.

The woman that sighs thinking of  that man who is equally attracted and scared by her. Incapable to explore other possibilities than the classic one, containing the compulsory condoms and ring.

The little pet that is finally cured after months of chronic wounds, coming to thank and ask for yet another cuddle and another stroke. With its freshly cleaned fur, it sticks to you, offering a share of unconditional love.

The white haired couple, walking in the park hand in hand, with all their passion’s traffic lights off, but with the love’s one shining green after years of hurdles and trials.

The soul that cries and laughs about how far and yet how close we are to the ones we love> because what matters is not what you get, but what you give. The  awareness of love beyond death, distance, disasters and separation, like in a beautiful cartoon illustrating a dear song, where the two halves are searching and re-searching for the other for the entire life, even if they won’t meet .

The Love, with a capital L, that you discover when you feel the urge of straightening a strand of hair fallen on the forehead of a woman who cries. When you would like to embrace that being, wounded by its own vulnerability, speaking to you with words that ooze pain.

All those days and nights and words and jokes and affectionate humor. Discussions over things that raise the same interest, plans, and dreams and desires. Respect for the other’s silence and detachment from what we do not posess, we do not control, we just fuel.

The endless love one can feel for the giant, mellow and warm being we call Planet, and to all her children, with or without leaves, with scales, feathers, two or four or more legs. The plant children, the stone children. The light buds floating in the air like invisible UFO’s. The Love that envelops you when you sit in one of those places, fewer every day, where nature is still pristine and untouched by the coarse boot of “civilization”.

And, finally, but not eventually, the profound understanding of the loving connection between all that is, animated by the huge force of a feeling that triggers the mechanics of the entire Universe, and the revelation that actively practising this feeling puts gas in the life’s engine. And then, Silence. And then, Joy,

It’s like any fitness routine, the mind gets shaped progressively and learns to love, really, unconditionally, all that is. And, like any routine, it should be performed constantly, no matter if today you are sad, desperate, jealous, furious. Practise it like a slingshot that throws you back in to our inherent Human nature: loving kindness.

You can start tomorrow, if you forgot today. Smile to the first man you see tomorrow morning and watch the miracles flowing through the day.